wife qualifying all her wants

wife qualifying all her wants

Postby bleak future » Tue Jan 06, 2009 12:39 pm

simply put, my wife says we need certain things in our marraige, which is 9 months old. when i agree to do these things she qualifies them and they don't get done, she makes some excuse, then we continue to have future problems. case in hand: a joint checking account. i'm okay with the idea, have said so many times. this is her suggestion, and in past when we discussed it she said i'm doing it for the wrong reasons, that my heart isn't in to it, that i'm doing it to shut her up. I'm willing to do it to be responsible and make her feel secure. this has gone on for months, now when we discuss it, she says she can't trust me and that there are so many other things wrong in our relationship. i'm trying to tackle one thing at a time, but she roadblocks it. this has happened in other situations too, either i'm not sincere enough, or I'm doing things for the wrong reasons according to her. these problems are way out of hand, we're both tired of it. I don't think she wants to trust me. any suggestions?
bleak future
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Joined: Tue Jan 06, 2009 12:25 pm

Postby AbagayleLee » Wed Jan 07, 2009 10:14 am

It sounds like she has had people she trusts disappoint her in life. What she needs from you is action and not words. Stop saying that you're ok with a joint checking account and instead go and open one, have checks made out with both or your names and give her a checkbook. Stop saying your heart is in it when it comes to this and other issues and instead SHOW her.
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