Cell Phone

Should my Husband have a password on his cell phone?

Total votes : 12

Cell Phone

Postby route22 » Sat Jan 24, 2009 11:41 am

I am not sure but I have been struggling with many different issues with my marriage recently. So i have been so worried bout everything so I have been looking thur my husbands cell phone about every 2-3 days but now he has it password protected and i cant view it. I told him that if he has nothing to hide then he should not have to lock it but he says that I am now having to much control over everthing. But its only because he betrayed me. I know looking in his phone won't stop his sinful mind but when i see no strange calls it makes me feel okay as if things are on the right track.Please I am looking for most honest answers.Even if i am wrong for my doings i want to hear that. please help ME! :cry:
Last edited by route22 on Wed Jan 28, 2009 9:38 am, edited 1 time in total.
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Postby moc » Wed Jan 28, 2009 9:32 am

NO, Husband should not have a password on the cell phone. This is a sign in my opinion of hiding something or someone. Even without a password, text messages and calls can be deleted. If my wife wants to see my texts or anything else, I would gladly give her the phone. Its a matter of trust and respect and communication of the uneasy feelings you are having with him. I have read your CONFUSED post and replied there also from my experience. He has to display consistency with you and the only way he can is to be open and honest with EVERYTHING. Good luck to both of you.
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Postby route22 » Thu Jan 29, 2009 8:56 pm

Thank you Moc for giving me a response :)
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Should my Husband have a password on his cell phone?

Postby RBank » Thu Apr 08, 2010 1:25 pm

I'm sorry, but this is kind of a dumb question; just think about it:

No, it should not be protected.
If it is protected, he's hiding something.
If it is not protected, he can delete anything he doesn't want you to see, giving you the implication of trust.
It could be protected and he gives you the code and claim it's for his phone's protection in case it gets lost or stolen. He can still delete what he does not want you to see.
It's a no win situation.
Either you trust him or you don't.

Again, I'm sorry.
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Postby Maginty » Thu Mar 10, 2011 3:26 am

It's not whether or not he has a password that is the problem. It's whether he is trustworthy and whether you trust him that is the problem.

I have a password on my phone and so does my husband (who moved out 12 months ago) but that wasn't to stop each other from viewing the other's phone. It was in case the phone got lost or was left in the office or locker room and having a password stops people from making unauthorised calls or using the information in it.

I have only ever checked my husband's phone once when we were having problems and he was confiding in his sister who hates my guts. But i felt terrible for doing it! I would much rather be able to talk to my husband about what is going on and if I felt he wasn't being honest with me, then we have bigger problems than what may or may not be on that phone.

If your spouse is hiding something or cheating, you'll know. You don't need a phone to prove it.
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Cell Phones

Postby Happinessoneday » Tue Aug 30, 2011 10:38 am

I look at my husband's cell phone as well and it has been through this practice that I have found out some very disturbing things. Even though I have read the emails and texts messages that point to his being emotionally unfaithful, he still denies any guilt, claiming that I misunderstood. It is only because I love him so much that I try to let these things go, but I have finally had enough. Recently I discovered yet another new female's telephone number in his cell phone. In counseling he stated that I should just ask him what I want to know. Well, when I found the new female's name and telephone number, that's exactly what I did. He said she was a friend. When I attempted to ask more questions he grew increasingly aggitated. He did say, however, that she was a friend from college. Okay, that's fine, but why wouldn't you have shared your meeting her with me. I am completely open to most things as long as your honest, but it's when you hide things that I become suspicious. This newest addition to his super long list of female friends doesn't sit very well with me, but this isn't the first female friend that has caused problems in our marriage.

I have resigned myself to the fact that my husband is insecure and needs these female friends to feel needed and important. I think that I am a good wife to him, but I can no longer deal with his constant need for reassurance of his self worth.

Communication is important. Without it a marriage will fail. Try to speak to your husband about what is bothering you. It is important that you pick the right time and use the right tone when attempting to discuss this potentially explosive subject. He should not have a password on his cell phone. What is there to hide?
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Re: Cell Phone

Postby prgirl23 » Sun Dec 04, 2011 7:48 pm

im sorry that you are going threw this situation you say you look threw his cell phone a lot does he go threw yours i here you say he has betrayed you how is that has he cheated on you in the past maby trust is a big thing in relationships if there no trust then you have no relationship but in a way i cant blame you for feeling this way maby i would too have you tried talking to him about the situation communication is also a key aspect in a relationship dr pearson that most divorces happen because of communication studies have shown by i too have a lock on my cell phone but mt boyfriend dosh mind sometimes we over react in certain situations if hes with you hes with you for a reason just stop over working yourself and enjoy yourself
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Re: Cell Phone

Postby MaybachMusic » Sun Dec 04, 2011 9:21 pm

I understand that you are concerned about your marriage and you have every right to be. You said in your post that “So i have been so worried bout everything so I have been looking thur my husbands cell phone about every 2-3 days but now he has it password protected and i cant view it”. Does he know that you are looking through his cell phone? Does he work in a public area?, the phone could password protected because he is worried that if he lost it all of his contact information would be compromised? Have you considered that? Also you said that he has betrayed you. How did he do so? Does he communicate with you when you try to talk about the pass code problem? Good communication can go a long way says Dr.M my professor.
Also I have found out in numerous studies that electronic communication isn’t the best channel of communication. Does he use text messages, calls, emails? Also keep in mind how much you and your husband talk in general and on the subject on hand. Remember no matter what kind of communication it may be good or seem bad it is always beneficial. Another point to remember you said that you haven’t found any calls on his phone which could suggest that he isn’t talking to someone and if he is that it is a miniscule amount. Also if you have to check his phone when your spouse isn’t looking that could show a little mistrust in him and that you find nothing. So it might not be what it seems.
Some suggestions from me are that the both of you should sit down and talk about it. You probably already have but listen to each other even if it isn’t what you want to hear don’t get frustrated. From what I have read you really want the marriage to work out which means that you are really trying, now you have to see and find out if he is doing the same. Ask him why he has a pass code on it. Why has he implemented it recently? Ask if he deletes anything to hide from you. Talk to him about the “Betrayal” and why.
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Re: Cell Phone

Postby dalovdoc » Sun Dec 04, 2011 11:26 pm

I'm really sorry that you are going threw this in your marriage, but like you said if he has nothing to hide he wouldn't have a password on his cell phone or he could also have a password to protect his information just in case his cell gets lost or stolen.I have a pass in phone because i have sensible data on my phone that I can't let no one see. You also said that you have spoken to him about this and how it make you feel? But have you really sat down and spoken to him about the trust issues in your guys marriage? communication problems are the most frequently cited problem among couples,so if you haven't you should explain to him all the reasons why you don't trust him, since he hast been unfaithful in the past. Also have you tried consoling? is clear that you guys have allot of unresolved issues since he was unfaithful to you, recent surveys suggest that approximately 25% of married men and about 10% of married women have had an extramarital affair. Approximately 20% of divorces are caused by infidelity, also jealousy is a contributor in divorces, so this might be a good idea for you guys to seek help, since you would have a person who could be a mediator in your marriage and help you work on some issues on you marriage.

good luck....
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