Phrases to Aknowledge a Wife's Feelings Unconditionally

Phrases to Aknowledge a Wife's Feelings Unconditionally

Postby ThunderHorse » Wed Oct 07, 2009 6:50 pm

Today, my wife was complaining about my part of a miscommunication between us.

I said,

A. I can understand how you feel.

Seemed to satisfy her need for communication, and she was finished with the topic. Maybe other prhases,

B. I understand that you are diappointed in me.

C. I see how you feel that I have let you down.

D. It is disappointing that the car has needed so many repairs recently.


I need to keep phrases more readily in mind, becuase in the Mars mode, the prhases do not readily come to mind. I need to review more phrases that work to acknowledge the feelings of a woman.

These phrases are also difficult for me, because during the course of a day, I am defending myself from attacks, or ciriticism, by other people, so I have to shift gears to not consider the implications of not including a defense in my reply or response.


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Postby ThunderHorse » Fri Oct 09, 2009 6:02 pm

This was from one of my posts under Infidelity


E. If she says something you argree with, you can say "That's Right, I see,"

F. If she says something you don't like, or disagree with, you can say, "There are probably a number of people who agree with that." That implies that you don't agree with her, but that you see the value of her point of view.



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Postby ThunderHorse » Sun Oct 11, 2009 2:50 am

G. I am feeling embarrassed because of the short time you are giving for this issue to be resolved.

H. I can understand how some people might feel that way under some circumstances.
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communication pearls

Postby Scott Haltzman » Sun Oct 18, 2009 3:57 pm

"I can understand how some people might feel that way under some circumstances."

Just wondering how your wife responds when you actually use these phrases. As you point out before, these are ways of saying "I don't agree with you" in a nice way. Some women (and men...) just don't want to be disagreed with--nicely or not!!
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Postby ThunderHorse » Tue Oct 20, 2009 2:53 pm

Scott Haltzman wrote:"I can understand how some people might feel that way under some circumstances."

Just wondering how your wife responds when you actually use these phrases. As you point out before, these are ways of saying "I don't agree with you" in a nice way. Some women (and men...) just don't want to be disagreed with--nicely or not!!


My wife continues to talk about her ideas, and does not appear to register that I have told her I disagree with her. So if the issue needs to be resolved, then I need to find some other time for the difficult discussion.

Usually my wife just wants to think about things out loud.
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Re: communication pearls

Postby ThunderHorse » Sat Oct 24, 2009 12:36 am

Scott Haltzman wrote:"I can understand how some people might feel that way under some circumstances."

Just wondering how your wife responds when you actually use these phrases. As you point out before, these are ways of saying "I don't agree with you" in a nice way. Some women (and men...) just don't want to be disagreed with--nicely or not!!


Different women will have varying degrees of tolerance of receiving information that their expressed or implied opinions are not being accepted. So varous men will have to vary the level of disagrement that caon be expressed, without interrupting the flow of her verbalizing her thoughts.

Chapter 7, The Fifth Way: Learn to Listen, in your book THE SECRETS OF HAPPILY MARRIED MEN discusses many concepts in the art of a man listening to a woman. The benefits to the woman, and the relationship, of encouraging her to talk, and verbalize unsettled matters for her are also discussed.

My theory is the more I let my wife talk, the more logical she will become, on her own, and the fewer difficult conversations I will have to engineer. Of cours it too ofen seems that my wife further entranches her contrary ideas, the more I listen to her, making her more resolute in ideas which I oppose.


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