A couple of years before getting married, I met a woman who became seriously interested in me, but never told me at that time, not even when she found that I already had a girlfriend and was planning to marry her. I admit that it was not fair from me to not tell about my girlfriend before getting involved with this woman. And we became closer and closer, but I never asked her to be my (second) girlfriend or my lover. Our relationship was never clearly defined; however, it included lots of mutual help, doing activities together and some sexual contact.
I married my girlfriend and thought the other woman would never call me again. Time proved I was wrong. She did, asking for emotional support (I had became in some sense her best male friend), and from there an affair started.
This relation had lots of ups and downs for more than five years, and I proposed her to make it stable: no more verbal violence, complaints, etc., and we would support each other. We tried for several months, but it did not work, and then I shifted all my efforts in the opposite direction: to end the relationship completely.
She did not accept it. She felt that would be a loss too big for her.
Soon after this I moved with my family to another country, mainly for work reasons, but I considered also that it would be a way to end that relationship. I told her about leaving the country, but did not give any details about my destination, let alone address or phone number.
However, she keeps communicating by email, trying to rebuild the relationship, kind of offering to be a "good friend," implying mutual support (she also wants sexual encounters, however). She says I helped her to change her life in a positive way to the point that I saved her life (this is before I married).
I have told her that thinking of her means negative feelings to me, I have been harsh to her (with intention or not), but she keeps trying.
I do not want to restart the affair. I would just close that email account, or not reply to her messages, but I am afraid that at some point of time she might then look for some way to damage my family. It can be just a matter of time for her to find us, and I have no intention to live hiding from her, or to file a suit for stalking or whatever other reason.
Your advice is appreciated.