doncalypso wrote:All these reports about loss of libido following childbirth makes me wonder whether I ever want to get married... And if I do get married I wonder if it's even worth it to have children given that sex pretty much stops once the rugrats are born.
NuBNPrince wrote:My wife & I are going through the same thing.
We've known each other for 4 years, and we've been married for 1 1/2 years. I'm 32, she's 29. She just had a baby 2 months ago. My wife's sex drive, however, diminished almost immediately after she found out she was pregnant. So, since last December... we've had sex maybe 6 times. And I'm willing to bet that she got very little enjoyment out of those sessions, and was just trying to give in to make me happy. One of those sessions was 2 days before the baby was born... and my wife was joking around about sex at the end of the 3rd trimester possibly inducing labor... so I kinda feel "used"... *L*
Anyway... it doesn't make me look at her any less. In fact, my desire for her has increased this entire time, and she's become more and more beautiful to me. She says she's still attracted to me too. But things have changed. It's not just that sex is gone from our relationship. She doesn't like the things she used to like. We don't kiss deeply and passionately anymore. She doesn't like her breasts touched at all (but I can understand this one). Touching her in intimate places on her body that used to turn her on now only irritate or tickle her. I feel like I have to re-learn my wife (which I don't mind), but her lack of desire for intimacy is making it difficult for me to make any headway in this regard.
And besides this, she won't do anything for me at all. I won't even go as far as asking for oral - she gives me dirty looks if I even mention it. If I ask for a handjob, she gives me a different look - a "throw my hands up, sorry but no" look. She even gets mad at me if I pleasure myself.
Not only is being rejected constantly frustrating me, but it's gotten to a point where it's made me look negatively upon myself... feeling unworthy of my wife's love & attention, and lonely. And never mind that I'm a roller coaster of emotions right now... dealing with being a new father, and my own father just passed away 3 weeks ago. I've had to seek the counsel of our church's Pastor to help me get over these feelings.
She has mentioned that she would like to talk to someone and see what kind of help is available for her, and she's even said that she misses how our relationship was.
I love my wife dearly, neither of us believes in divorce, so I'm just being patient, giving her as much love and comfort as I can, and hoping and praying that this is temporary.
Users browsing this forum: No registered users and 3 guests