chores in a work at home household

chores in a work at home household

Postby gatorate_addict » Fri Jun 02, 2006 11:14 am

i am planning on doing work from the house, but i will also care for a toddler and a preschooler. my wife and i are having a hard time figuring out chores. she wants me to be able to focus on the kids, but it could be overwhelming for her to have to a lot of the housework, especially when i'm in the home. (she's returning to work as a pediatrician) we've thought about having a cleaning lady come to take care of the house, and taking laundry to the cleaners. (it's completely affordable within the budget, but we're not sure it's a good influence on the kids for us not to do this...) we agree that she will mostly cook, and i will mostly take care of the dishes, and also for me to try and take care of things like the kids leaving toys out, etc. the thing that's been giving us grief has been laundry and house cleaning. any ideas?
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Postby abolakomadic » Thu Jun 08, 2006 5:36 am

i don't like it.
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Postby gatorate_addict » Thu Jun 08, 2006 9:54 pm

Are you a work at home dad? Don't like doing chores?
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Re: chores in a work at home household

Postby Scott Haltzman » Fri Jun 09, 2006 8:01 pm

gatorate_addict wrote:we've thought about having a cleaning lady come to take care of the house, and taking laundry to the cleaners. (it's completely affordable within the budget, but we're not sure it's a good influence on the kids for us not to do this...) we agree that she will mostly cook, and i will mostly take care of the dishes, and also for me to try and take care of things like the kids leaving toys out, etc. the thing that's been giving us grief has been laundry and house cleaning. any ideas?


Hi Gatorate,

I can't understand why you wouldn't want to hire someone to do work around the house. With limited time, you have a choice between cleaning a toilet and playing with your kids. There will be plenty of chores that you and your wife will do to demonstate to your children the important of cleanliness and orderliness (like dishes after a meal, putting newpaper in recycle bin, cleaning up spills). When the kids get older, you can put them to work, and teach them how to do their own laundry.

As for me, I'd rather teach my kids how to garden or ski, than make sure they know that they know at a young age that I know that whites are washed on the "hot" setting. :)

S.H.


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Postby arbo » Wed Jun 28, 2006 7:15 pm

Hi gatorate_addict,

I too work from a home office and we have a three month old so I can understand your circumstance.

I don't think there is anything wrong with getting in help for basic parts of the housekeeping if you can afford it. At the moment we are not able too, being back to a single wage, but I can see us getting in help for the laundary or basic house cleaning duties in time.

As Scott said, the children will learn by seeing you being involved in chores around the house, such as doing the dishes after dinner etc.

Once they are old enough they can have chores of their own that will teach them responsibility.

They don't see you servicing the car, and think any less of you, as a father, for example :wink:

Good luck.
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thanks

Postby gatorate_addict » Fri Jun 30, 2006 1:38 pm

arbo,
it is hard with young children, no? so, i probably will wind up delagating chores, the wife thought it over and she's ok with it. working at home is complicated by the fact that young kids tend to need things all the time. it's got some of the best of both having a career and being a caretaker, but it's also very draining.
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Postby Patriarch Verlch » Tue Jul 04, 2006 1:38 am

I think having a cleaning lady is a wonderful Idea if your wife decides on working outside the house.

With my wife and I, we work together on things, but I let her fine tune and nest the way she wants things done.

I do the big things, she does the little things, both of which are very important.

My wife can not change the oil, brake pads, alternator, starter, etc.

Even though she works, I pay 100% of the bills, her money she spends, my money is somehow our money. I pay for meals etc. It's very manly feeling, I wouldn't have it any other way.
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Re: chores in a work at home household

Postby candle » Tue Nov 22, 2011 7:50 am

David Johnson
Nov 20, 2011
Dr. Scott extra credit

I think as difficult as this seems to be for you, it is as easy as sitting down

with your spouse and writing down the ups and downs of hiring or not

hiring a housekeeper.

Since their is no financial struggles a big problem has already been taken

out of the way. Questions you might address, would it alleviate stress,

would it allow for more time with the kids which seems to be important to

your wife. Would it open up more time for the family to spend together at

the end of the day. This all sums up to managing your time effectively for

the benefit of your family.

For me, time management helps with the demands of work, school, and

having quality time for family and friends.
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Re: chores in a work at home household

Postby DLom » Tue Dec 06, 2011 10:10 am

i personally think that getting a cleaning lady would be a good idea, but it may have its up and down effects on your children. You also could be in jepardy of that cleaning lady stealing things when you or your wife is not home. Again that depends on your contract and there are many ways to set that aside. I am a freshman at the community college of rhode island in a psychology class with Dr.SKI, and in that class we have resently learned about the roles in marriage. Dr. Ski's notes had said,
"Although parents worry about juggling work and family roles, and about the impact of dual-career couples on children,There is actually little evidence that a mother’s working is harmful to her children, especially after the child is one year of age".
So in conclusion to my opinion and Dr. Ski's notes, any desision that you make for the cleaning lady will be a good one, just take it one step at a time and sit down with your wife, and even your children to get everybody's opinion on what they think about someone coming into the house and doing a small amount of the chores such as doing the laundry.

good luck :D
Dlom
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Re: chores in a work at home household

Postby johndoe3 » Mon Dec 03, 2012 3:26 pm

gatorate_addict wrote:i am planning on doing work from the house, but i will also care for a toddler and a preschooler. my wife and i are having a hard time figuring out chores. she wants me to be able to focus on the kids, but it could be overwhelming for her to have to a lot of the housework, especially when i'm in the home. (she's returning to work as a pediatrician) we've thought about having a cleaning lady come to take care of the house, and taking laundry to the cleaners. (it's completely affordable within the budget, but we're not sure it's a good influence on the kids for us not to do this...) we agree that she will mostly cook, and i will mostly take care of the dishes, and also for me to try and take care of things like the kids leaving toys out, etc. the thing that's been giving us grief has been laundry and house cleaning. any ideas?


There are many ways to equally do household chores and lower your overall stress. Who normally does laundry and house cleaning? If a cleaning lady is affordable in the budget, it might not be a bad idea to get one. It would be especially helpful if you had a person who can both clean for you and even go to the laundry mat for you. If not, it wouldn't be a bad idea to do some cleaning of the house little by little with working at home and watching the children. Also the laundry could be done by your wife after or before work to keep all the workload off you. If it is equal and fair, and you are both helping each other, stress should go away.
In my social psychology class all of this stuff on helping is relationships and such is taught. An example of something i have learned is the "Reciprocity norm: To those who help us, we should return help, not harm." This term and quote mean, an expectation that people will help, not hurt, those who have helped them. Another way to put it is investing in someone else and expecting dividends of what you invested.
With that being said, if you guys can equally figure out ways to get things done and help each other out, the stress you guys have over this problem, will most likely go away. When you guys got married and had children, i'm sure it crossed your mind that sometimes your gonna be overloaded with work, housework, taking care of kids, etc. but Its real life and at one point everyone's got to do what you got to do.
Once you and your wife figure it out and know what your roles will be taking care of your family, things should start running much smoother. Every once and a while, maybe do a little extra and take care of one of her chores, to give her a little break. And going back to the previous paragraph, it is very possible if you help her out with simple things like that, she may help you out in that same way and give you a needed break.
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