by Todd_Hemm » Mon Nov 04, 2013 11:32 am
So, you are having trouble adjusting to space your wife is asking for? No need to be alarmed, sometimes wives and even husbands will get overwhelmed with stress due to work, raising a family and the constant hassle of it all. It seems that your wife just needs time to be with friends or by herself so she can relax and adjust to what life is throwing at her by her own pace. A little bit of alone time each day so she can collect her thoughts, or time spent with her friends to laugh will help a marriage run more smoothly. If she says she still loves you, and the fact you believe it shows that the love is there and that there isn't a need to worry. I know that with relationships I have had in the past, sometimes your significant other could be dealing with a lot of stress, and they don't want to open up about it to you or anyone and just need to figure out their own way to overcome the stress they are handling. Once they figure it out, the relationship gets even better because they knew you were staying by their side even if they had needed the space through it all.
My Psychology professor says a key to maintaining a close relationship is attachment. "Attachment consists of trust and intimacy which is needed in order to maintain a close relationship", so if you trust the fact that your wife still loves you and she tells you she does, she wants to be with you. According to my notes, Robert Stenberg views attraction as a triangle having three sides: Passion (infatuation), commitment, and intimacy (sharing things). If you have these traits in your marriage, it is a sign of true love. Dr. Haltzman says "Pretend that every single person you meet has a sign around his or her neck that says. 'Make me feel important.' Not only will you succeed in sales, you will succeed in life." As long as you still make your wife feel important to you and that she is your "only one", just give her space and in time things will be back to normal.
In your case, the love is still there between you both. There is just a wall of stress your wife has built and needs her space and time to slowly take it down. You both still have a close relationship from the sound of it, the love is still there, you are both supporting your family which is your main focus. With the space she is looking for, spend more time with your children perhaps, and enjoy spending time with them. It will give your wife both the space she is looking for and a break from any stress she might have over trying to do everything for the kids.
If I were in your shoes in this situation, I would do exactly what my wife is asking me to do. I would let her have time alone and with her friends, focus more on the family and spend time with my kids together. Give my wife a break from everything which will cause the amount of space she needs to diminish. Do not try to push yourself closer to your wife when she needs her space. She needs her own personal bubble and at the moment it doesn't have room for two to share. Giving space will go a long way, and in the end it will make you closer then you were before.